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I reckon it would be cool to own a Time Machine. There are all of those travel quotes floating around the travel broadens the mind, but if you were able to time travel like in the movies, that would probably blow most people’s head off their shoulders!

Imagine turning up to the places and events in history when they were actually happening! You’d have enough material to create a travel blog that some people might actually read!

Anyway, if you could just turn up at any point in time at will, you could change the course of history via your own ‘butterfly effect’ by potentially preventing the superficial lives of those annoying reality TV stars that clog up way too much TV and internet time!

I would love to see everything from dinosaurs and fast forwarding to the future just to see what some winning lottery numbers might be and then come back to the present and become filthy rich at will!

Anyway, I’ve sort of covered time travel before with a list of funny time travel movies, but the screen grab featured in this silly post goes way beyond that!

But I while back, I stumbled upon someone who was selling a time machine on the New Zealand buy/sell site which is called Trade Me.

I thought it was an offer *almost* too good to refuse. Like the Iceberg from Antarctica.

Probably the funniest Time Machine For Sale Sign Ever!

This is one reason I really like New Zealanders – their quirky sense of humour!

Check out the mish mash of electronic junk that makes up the time machine in this photo!

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Time Machine For Sale! Is Time Travel Possible?  Home Made Flux Capacitor. Create Your Own Butterfly Effect!

Of course, if you post a silly sale, you are more than destined to attract some silly queries.

I reckon the ‘Ask the seller a question’ part was funnier than the actual ad itself!

Here they are, and have a chuckle!

Q: Do you have the flux capacitor to go with this? I can’t see it in the photo.

A: This model does not use a flux capacitor to reduce the time dilation effect. Are you sure you know what you are doing ?

Q: Does this run on mains? What’s the reserve? What will postage be to Palmerston North?

A: The machine can be self powered if you can find a source of Uranium 235. Alternatively it can run of mains power supply. Postage anywhere in NZ, anytime $5

Q: haha. great stuff.
A: haha. If its so great why arent you bidding ?

Q: I’ve got a space continuum transfunctioner. Would you consider swapping it for that? It’s a bit rough and ready and blows a little blue smoke but appears to be running ok.

A: Space continuum transfunctioners are old school. I used to have one and it blew blue smoke too, just before it blew up. Get rid of it now.

Q: I’d like to go back & see my Great Uncle Rodney when he was 18 because he skulled a jug of beer in only 3.2 seconds & I’d certainly like to see that! I’m pretty sure that I have the necessary skills to complete the project too. I got a C+ in 4th form Science & two sticky red stars.

A: Certainly an event worthy of time travel. And if any one can get this puppy working, its you – with your fancy two red stars, and fourth form education.

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Q: Will this machine be capable of going forwards as well as backwards it time. I built one in 2052 that only went backwards and I haven’t been able to get back to my time. I need one that can go both ways so I can come back to this time to feed the cat I have.

A: interesting dilemma, but simply answered by the formula : dt = dt’ . (1 – v²/c²)1/2 which i have designed the device around, in theory past and future travel should be possible. I have sympathy for you and your cat, but when amateurs play with time travel this is what happens.

Q: i looove it… its a master piece in progress

A: this is not a piece of conceptual art. it is a very serious quantum level time travelling device – well would be if it worked.

Q: Does it have fast forward, rewind and pause?

A: Time is a little more complicated than fast forwarding, rewinding and pause. The time reference dilator is capable of such functions but the theory behind it is somewhat unproven. It does have an eject button if thats any help ?

Q: Here’s a curly question… If I travelled back in time to when I was ten years old, do you think it would be illegal for me to fondle my younger self?

A: in a court of law i believe what you are describing would be classed as Self pleasure, or perhaps self abuse Either way both are perfectly legal no matter what the age. If you were caught they would have issues proving it via DNA anyway

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Q: Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Would this machine be able to take me back in time so I could take State?

A: you need to give up on your glory years, and live for the now. A quarter mile is pretty impressive though, is that for real ?

Q: Does the eftpos machine work on Pre-pay time credits or pay as you travel?

A: i see you have mistaken the time defliberator for an old eftpos machine. Easy mistake  for beginners to time travel to make, they do look similar.

Q: If I am successful with my bid, do you think there is sufficient grunt in the machine to go back to the beginning of this auction, wipe out all memory of it, so I don’t have to pay you.

A: if the auction doesn’t take place, you would never have the time machine, so you would be stuck in the past, with no machine to get back to the present. time is a dangerous thing to play with, and you really need to carefully consider the consequences, before you start mucking with the past, and breaching time continuation

Q:I have half of my cheese and tomato sandwich left from lunch, would
you consider a trade?

A: What kind of dressing?

Oh well, it’s good for a laugh.

Or maybe I’ve just posted this from the future… ;P


Be a share millionaire! Tell the world!

Avatar Of Anthony Bianco - The Travel Tart

Anthony Bianco - The Travel Tart

The Travel Tart is an Australian Travel Blogger and Writer who dribbles on about the funny, offbeat and weird aspects of world travel today. Travel wasn't meant to be taken too seriously! Strangely enough, he's appeared in reputable publications like USA Today, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, and is a member of the Australian Society of Travel Writers. Check out his Travel Blog, silly Travel Articles and social media profiles to say hi using some Australian Slang or sign up for his silly newsletter!

2 Comments

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rebecca · at

Brilliant! Love your finds!

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