Probably one of the worst photos that someone will ever take of you will be your passport photo. Passport photos are much maligned by travellers everywhere because most people think ‘that doesn’t look like me at all’. And that’s pretty much right! I don’t know anyone who likes their passport photo!
Like my interview regarding travel health, if you look like your passport photo, you’re definitely way too sick to travel!
As for me, most of my passport photos look like I’m a rabbit staring into the high beam headlights ready to be run over underneath of a wide wheel on a dark country road! I really don’t know why these pics pass the passport test, but somehow, these silly photos have become official documents all around the world!
Unfortunately, the passport office is no fun. There are so many expressions that you can’t use in your passport photos, so you are pretty much held to ransom by only being allowed to use a photo that looks like you’re about to be thrown into prison! No smiling. No expressions. Not one eyebrow raised above the other. No picking your nose. Nothing! And they warn you that ‘unacceptable photos may result in a delay in processing your passport!’
Even the Australian passport website says ‘the photograph must be taken with a neutral expression and your mouth closed (not laughing or frowning)”
And they are so anal about the size of the photo, if it’s overexposed on underexposed, or even if you have a background colour other than white!
That sort of annoys me. I’d love to have a silly passport photo that reflects what you’re really on about – something like this!
But this got me thinking – what if you could use any photo that you wanted for your passport photo? Here are some silly scenarios I’ve dreamt up that would make immigration way more entertaining! The mind boggles!
Here we go!
Passport Photos We’d Love to See!
Here are some ideas on how to make the world a much happier place during your time in customs!
- Tongue poke – my favourite default pose, I’m sure this would make most immigration officers at least have a giggle.
- Beer pose – holding a large stein of your favourite brew. I’m sure the Germans would be right into this idea.
- Inappropriate Selfie – a pic from your smart phone that may get you in trouble with your employer
- Fashion Shot – pucker up those lips baby!
- Wildlife Shot – the wild animal that looks most like you
- Aerial Photograph – place a photograph of a sensitive building into your passport. Maybe of the airport itself..
- Action Photo – find someone with a camera with a fast shutter speed to take a photo of you that would suit an action movie promotion.
- Sports Photo – something with sweat dripping all over the place!
- Pet Photo – place your favourite pet mug shot next to your name and see if the immigration officers can spot the difference. You know, that thing about pets looking like their owners!
- Concert Photo – a pic of you in the mosh pit.
- Medical Tourism Shot – all bandaged up after a nose job in a country with much less expensive medical costs than yours!
- Baby Photo – Yes, your baby photo. Or maybe one of your grandparents.
- Food Photo – place a photo of your favourite munchie in the passport. Mine is a kebab at 3 o’clock in the morning after drinking beer!
- Underwater Pic – if you’re a diver, include a photo of your favourite underwater creature.
- Stock Photo – just download anything random. It doesn’t need to mean anything.
- Wedding Photo – but probably not a good idea if you’re thinking about a divorce any time soon!
- Papparazzi – something blurred, out of focus and compromising
- Cat photo – 90% of the internet is made up of this silly content, why not have one in your travel documents?
- The Sexter – depends on if you want to pick up an immigration officer or not, and finally
- The Drunken passed out pose – one of those embarrassing photos someone has posted on Facebook where you’ve passed out after a tonne of boozing up, and where you’re placed in a shoddy position that leaves you open to being graffittied or even worse!
I’m sure there’s craploads more passport photos that would make immigration a lot more interesting.
How about you? Add your suggestion to this stupid list and I’ll lobby the Department of Foreign Affairs to see if they will change their boring passport photo rules!