When you start looking through the Travel News section of your local newspaper or other travel related magazines, there is the usual stuff about some new travel company, or the hottest destinations that you really need to see right now before they’re spoilt forever (which means they’re spoiled already!). There are usually all sorts of experiences there, including the almost mandatory shot of a bright and sunny tropical island somewhere. Actually, this marketing tactic works great if you’re showing these images to someone in a location at the height of winter.
One of the skills of travel journalism that one must acquire to succeed in this business is the ability to create eye catching headlines that usually contain a bit of corny innuendo, which in turn attracts the eye of the reader and makes them curious about the rest of the article. That’s how they get paid and therefore, become attracted to producing even more headlines. This isn’t just the realm of travel writing, but all writing. I actually think you must be able to take a course in writing headlines!
Anyway, usually, these news pieces are fairly promotional and sometimes, don’t reflect the reality of a destination at all!
But what if the travel newspapers and magazines came up with travel news and headlines that actually reflected the truth, or even busted some stereotypes? Now that would be downright funny.
Anyway, here are some corny headlines I’ve dreamt up that we’ll probably never see – my alternative Travel News Headlines! And I’ve got fifty of them for you to waste time on! Time that you’ll never get back…
Here they are!
Travel News With A Difference
- Airline finds lost baggage
- Backpacker actually undertakes real backpacking
- Digital nomad doesn’t spend all of round the world trip in internet cafe
- Travel destination actually looks like travel brochure
- Car stops at pedestrian crossing while people are on it
- Traveller actually meets Facebook friend in real life
- English man doesn’t drink cheap beer overseas
- English speaking tourist eats at restaurant with non-English menu
- Traveller admits to escaping from something at home
- iPhone addict uses iPhone to make phone calls overseas
- Travel agent recommends place to visit that they’ve actually been to
- World’s hottest place to travel right now actually lives up to the hype
- Love tourist actually finds true love
- Shopper’s luggage meets standard check in baggage weight
- Tourism commercial is actually quite good
- Airline incident doesn’t make Air Crash Investigations
- Traveller doesn’t know where the United States of America is
- Irish bar not found in big city
- Drunk Australians not spotted in Bali
- New Zealander not mistaken for an Australian
- Canadian not mistaken for an American
- American traveller does not stitch Canadian flag on backpack
- Travel television host is not a blonde girl in a bikini
- Recommended attraction in Lonely Planet guidebook is actually lonely
- Bed bugs not found in backpacker bunk bed
- Traveller actually resembles passport photo
- Travel blogger takes break from laptop
- Traveller with travel insurance actually makes claim
- Medical tourist not interested in cosmetic surgery
- Las Vegas visitor comes out ahead at casino
- Las Vegas tourists resist urge to become married in Drive Through Chapel
- Low cost airline more expensive than full service airline after passenger pays for extras
- An Amazing Race contestant doesn’t say ‘very fast’ to a taxi driver
- Third World people amazed at First World Problems
- Tourist amazed that Australian’s don’t wrestle crocodiles
- Local kitsch souvenirs at tourist trap are not made in China
- Man surprised that sweet talking the check in lady scores him an upgrade to business class
- Boozer finds drink prices on a cruise reasonable
- Traveller finds awesome place not recommended by his guidebook
- Promiscuous traveller who uses 365 condoms in 365 days has a ‘Good Year’
- Travel writer becomes dirty filthy rich
- Person quits job to become a full time traveller and doesn’t start up a travel blog
- Australian doesn’t crave Vegemite during long term travel trip
- Man tries to commit suicide by crossing the road to the Arc De Triomphe in Paris – and survives
- Vietnamese motorbike transports load within it’s engineering capacity
- Couple send postcard home that arrives before they do
- Richard Branson to not perform crazy stunt to promote latest travel related business
- Fluent English teacher actually teaches proper English instead of slang
- Millionaire finds space travel ‘overrated’
- Australians stop telling tourists about the dangers of Drop Bears.
There you go. This list of Travel News Headlines We’d Like to See was a bit stupid, but hey, some of them are close to the truth.
More Travel News – Make it up!
How about you? What Travel News Headlines would you like to see in letters ten foot high?
Leave a comment with yours to share with the world and make them laugh!