Anthony Bianco

Travel News – Headlines We’d Like To See

When you start looking through the Travel News section of your local newspaper or other travel related magazines, there is the usual stuff about some new travel company, or the hottest destinations that you really need to see right now before they’re spoilt forever (which means they’re spoiled already!). There are usually all sorts of experiences there, including the almost mandatory shot of a bright and sunny tropical island somewhere. Actually, this marketing tactic works great if you’re showing these images to someone in a location at the height of winter.

Travel News Headlines travel satire  photo

One of the skills of travel journalism that one must acquire to succeed in this business is the ability to create eye catching headlines that usually contain a bit of corny innuendo, which in turn attracts the eye of the reader and makes them curious about the rest of the article. That’s how they get paid and therefore, become attracted to producing even more headlines. This isn’t just the realm of travel writing, but all writing. I actually think you must be able to take a course in writing headlines!

Anyway, usually, these news pieces are fairly promotional and sometimes, don’t reflect the reality of a destination at all!

But what if the travel newspapers and magazines came up with travel news and headlines that actually reflected the truth, or even busted some stereotypes? Now that would be downright funny.

Anyway, here are some corny headlines I’ve dreamt up that we’ll probably never see – my alternative Travel News Headlines! And I’ve got fifty of them for you to waste time on! Time that you’ll never get back…

Here they are!

Travel News With A Difference

  1. Airline finds lost baggage
  2. Backpacker actually undertakes real backpacking
  3. Digital nomad doesn’t spend all of round the world trip in internet cafe
  4. Travel destination actually looks like travel brochure
  5. Car stops at pedestrian crossing while people are on it
  6. Traveller actually meets Facebook friend in real life
  7. English man doesn’t drink cheap beer overseas
  8. English speaking tourist eats at restaurant with non-English menu
  9. Traveller admits to escaping from something at home
  10. iPhone addict uses iPhone to make phone calls overseas
  11. Travel agent recommends place to visit that they’ve actually been to
  12. World’s hottest place to travel right now actually lives up to the hype
  13. Love tourist actually finds true love
  14. Shopper’s luggage meets standard check in baggage weight
  15. Tourism commercial is actually quite good
  16. Airline incident doesn’t make Air Crash Investigations
  17. Traveller doesn’t know where the United States of America is
  18. Irish bar not found in big city
  19. Drunk Australians not spotted in Bali
  20. New Zealander not mistaken for an Australian
  21. Canadian not mistaken for an American
  22. American traveller does not stitch Canadian flag on backpack
  23. Travel television host is not a blonde girl in a bikini
  24. Recommended attraction in Lonely Planet guidebook is actually lonely
  25. Bed bugs not found in backpacker bunk bed
  26. Traveller actually resembles passport photo
  27. Travel blogger takes break from laptop
  28. Traveller with travel insurance actually makes claim
  29. Medical tourist not interested in cosmetic surgery
  30. Las Vegas visitor comes out ahead at casino
  31. Las Vegas tourists resist urge to become married in Drive Through Chapel
  32. Low cost airline more expensive than full service airline after passenger pays for extras
  33. An Amazing Race contestant doesn’t say ‘very fast’ to a taxi driver
  34. Third World people amazed at First World Problems
  35. Tourist amazed that Australian’s don’t wrestle crocodiles
  36. Local kitsch souvenirs at tourist trap are not made in China
  37. Man surprised that sweet talking the check in lady scores him an upgrade to business class
  38. Boozer finds drink prices on a cruise reasonable
  39. Traveller finds awesome place not recommended by his guidebook
  40. Promiscuous traveller who uses 365 condoms in 365 days has a ‘Good Year’
  41. Travel writer becomes dirty filthy rich
  42. Person quits job to become a full time traveller and doesn’t start up a travel blog
  43. Australian doesn’t crave Vegemite during long term travel trip
  44. Man tries to commit suicide by crossing the road to the Arc De Triomphe in Paris – and survives
  45. Vietnamese motorbike transports load within it’s engineering capacity
  46. Couple send postcard home that arrives before they do
  47. Richard Branson to not perform crazy stunt to promote latest travel related business
  48. Fluent English teacher actually teaches proper English instead of slang
  49. Millionaire finds space travel ‘overrated’
  50. Australians stop telling tourists about the dangers of Drop Bears.

There you go. This list of Travel News Headlines We’d Like to See was a bit stupid, but hey, some of them are close to the truth.

More Travel News – Make it up!

How about you? What Travel News Headlines would you like to see in letters ten foot high?

Leave a comment with yours to share with the world and make them laugh!

 travel satire  photo

About Anthony The Travel Tart

The Travel Tart writes about the funny, offbeat and weird aspects of world travel today. Travel wasn't meant to be taken too seriously! Check out ways to say hi below or sign up for his silly newsletter!

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2 Responses to Travel News – Headlines We’d Like To See

  1. OCDemon says:

    HA! Using a phone to make phone calls. What century are we living in?!?!

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