Airline Safety Cards have been a way of life for most airlines for years.

I say ‘most’ airlines because I have personally flown some dodgy airlines where an Airline Safety Card could be an optional extra.

Someone emailed me some jokes recently, showing some possible alternative meanings to the instructions given on the Airline Safety Card.

When you piece the image and the caption together, it almost makes perfect sense!

They’re almost as funny as the ‘Snakes On A Plane Safety Instructions Booklet!’

Check it out!

You can check out more of these at Airtoons!  Looks like someone was annoyed with the airlines, like this dude on his Airline Secrets.

So the next time you fly, please don’t associate these images with your Airline Safety Card!

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Victoria Falls, at Zimbabwe and Zambia.

It’s one of the most spectacular places in the world to visit – and you have to visit 2 countries to experience it!  Since the troubles of Zimbabwe has pretty much killed the tourist trade, most of the infrastructure and facilities for visiting Victoria Falls now occur in Zambia.

A picture of Victoria Falls from the Zambian side is shown below.  If you look at the ledge on the left hand side and spot a small orange dot – that is a person covered in a raincoat.

There’s all sorts of things you can do at Victoria Falls – you could possibly try and drown yourself in the Grade 5 rapids  by white water rafting, you can bungee jump off the Victoria Falls Bridge, and go for a twighlight booze cruise on the Zambezi River.

But there is something you should do – fly over Victoria Falls via a Microlight. This gives a fantastic panoramic view of the falls, but also provides a fascinating insight into the surrounding areas.

For example, you can see animals such as elephants and hippos from this high up.

Microlighting over Victoria Falls is a great way to blow $USD 100 in 15 minutes, but it’s worth it.

Check out some of the shots of Microlighting below:

If you’re hooked, check out The A-Z of Microlighting.

Other things to do in Zambia and Zimbabwe after Microlighting – marvel at the 230 million % inflation of the Zimbabwe Dollar, check out a Coffin Workshop, and check out what people use for a Washing Machine.

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When in Africa, many travellers use an Overland Truck to get from Point A to Point B.  There are well defined Overland Truck routes throughout eastern and southwestern Africa that are becoming ever more popular.

Overland Trucks visit Africa icons such as the Serengeti (Tanzania), Victoria Falls (Zambia/Zimbabwe) and the Okavango Delta (Botswana).

Basically, there are only a couple of options for transport in Africa. Firstly, you could hire or buy a car (or I’d recommend a 4 wheel drive because the roads can be rather crap), but this can be quite expensive.

You could try public transport, which includes the back of miscellaneous goods trucks, but this is usually unreliable and is subject to the laws of ‘Africa Time’ – which means your transport might leave in four minutes, four hours, four weeks, or possibly four months!

I wrote an earlier piece called ‘The Worst Drivers In The World’ which highlighted the joys of travelling in suicidal minibus taxis in southern Africa.

You can read more about travelling Africa overland here!

But the Overland Truck are another alternative – and it’s fairly reliable!

Since most people only have a finite time for their holiday, the Overland Truck is a viable option because there is a reasonable chance that you might make your destination and your flight home in time.

Overland Trucks are not especially luxurious – actually they’re pretty unpretentious and are designed to get you there in one piece.  They are usually a modified truck that has had a large, metal box welded on the back with a few rows of seats bolted in.  This box also houses the tents, sleeping bags, and backpacks of its occupants. They’re solid, but not spectacular.  I’ve included a photo below:

Overland Truck journeys are subject to their own laws, of which I’ve observed quite a few times on a couple of trips to Africa.

Here they are – my 10 Laws of Overland Trucks in Africa:

• Suspension toughness always takes priority over passenger comfort.
• Air-conditioning consists of the Overland Truck travelling at 80 kilometres per hour, with all of the windows open.
• There is always at least one Overland Truck romance.  This romance usually ceases at the end of the Overland Truck journey.
• Related to the Overland Truck Law above – the original occupants of the Overland Truck tents will drastically change between the start and the end of the trip.
• There will always be at least one flat tyre.  This will usually be the inside tyre of a set of dual wheels.  See photo below:

• Overland Trucks are trained to find the world’s biggest potholes.  See photo below showing evidence of this:

• Overland Trucks are a magnet for a wide range of hawkers wanting to sell everything from beads to potato chips.
• You will definitely come across at least one of these Travel Personalities. Most likely the Pisshead, the Root Rat, or even a combination of these.
• Maintenance tools for the Overland Truck include stones, blocks of wood and kicking with steel cap boots.
• You will most likely eat things like Warthog Pie, and drink the Springbok as part of my 52 Travel Tips for Weird Food and Drink.

What about you? What other Overland Truck laws can you think of?

You can read more Overland Truck adventures in this book, titled ‘African Adventures on an Overland Truck’.

Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

Other things to do in Africa – visit the ‘Sand!’ sign or use an Outdoor Toilet.

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Funny Travel – and everything else Offbeat and Weird about travelling – I love it!

Hi there.  My name is Anthony, and I’m a Travel Tart (that is, a Travel Addict).

My friends have called me this for many years, and it’s all true.  I created this site so that I can yak about Funny Travel tips, especially the unusual or offbeat.  This may hopefully help me become a professional backpacker, so I can provide Funny Travel reviews and Travel Tips for the rest of my life.

Feel free to look around, and I might see you sometime on the road.

Here is a serious photo of me!

I spend my entire life trying to find different ways to fund my Travel Adddiction – which tends to drive me a bit crazy.

Sometimes I have to work more when the Australian Dollar dives on international exchange rates. Then I go and travel and have a great time, immersing myself into whatever happens – which normally includes great food (for example, the chicken head shown below!), meeting great people (both locals and other travellers), and somehow surviving suicidal taxis.

Oh, and if you’re crazy enough and want to send me on a Travel Blogging trip, like others have, feel free to contact me.  Also, drop me a line if you would like me to feature your Funny Travel Photos, and I’m more than happy to link back to you.

Enjoy!

My Mission Statement

I, the Travel Tart, shall devote my life to endlessly finding dubious ways (ie providing dodgy and Funny Travel tips) to finance my ever worsening travel addiction, to experience as much culture, fun, and people’s hospitality as possible before I leave this planet. Oh, and I might pass on these silly offbeat Funny Travel tips to others in the process.

Here is a bit more Info:

Interests:
Beer, Eating, Hiking, Meeting New People, Partying, Sandboarding, Sitting On Farting Camels, Sleeping, Snoring, Surviving Death Threats From Annoying Hustlers, Funny Travel, Telling Bad Jokes

The Last Thing I Smashed When Travelling:
My liver

Favourite Music:
I’ll listen to almost anything, except for David Hasselhoff.  Favourites include Midnight Oil, Crowded House, Split Enz, Pearl Jam, Hoodoo Gurus, Powderfinger, John Butler Trio and Hunters and Collectors.

Favourite Movies
Team America – World Police, Monty Python – The Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and The Meaning of Life.

Drop an email and say hello! If you have other Offbeat and Funny Travel tips I can blog about, let me know!  Or otherwise, if you feel like offering me a writing gig or a Travel Press Trip, even better!

In the meantime, I’ve developed a massive list of Offbeat and Funny Travel tips – check out my post about 52 Perfect Offbeat Travel Tips!  And have a look around the site for more on offbeat Funny Travel Tips and Travel Reviews.

I hope you enjoy my offbeat Funny Travel tips!

Disclaimer:

To help cover costs of running the site, some advertising is run on the site as well as the use of some affiliate links. These affiliate links earn The Travel Tart a small commission on any purchases that anyone makes after clicking on one of our links.  These commissions help The Travel Tart send out loads of silly posts related to travel.  Thanks!

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Ryan Air.  They’ve been in the news somewhat of late.

Some of you may have come across a survey recently on the Ryan Air Website, where they have been asking customers if they would be happy to stand up on flights of 1 hour duration or less.

Once again, this suggestion has been ridiculed as another cost saving measure publicity stunt which makes us wonder if Ryan Air might start charging for optional extras such as wings and jet engines.

Ryan Air has also been copping a bit of stick for wanting to charge customers to use the toilet on a ‘Number 1 or Number 2’ basis.  Too bad if you’ve had a dodgy curry the night before – the trips to the toilet may cost more than the actual air fare itself!

Anyway, the Ryan Air ‘Standing Up Survey’ introduction says ‘Ryanair, the World’s favourite airline, today (9th July) launched an online poll to ask if  passengers would ‘stand’ on short flights if it meant they could travel for FREE, or pay 50% less than seated passengers. Ryanair is gauging passenger demand for its ‘vertical seating’ which will allow passengers to travel – for free – in a secure upright position on short flights of approximately one hour.’

I had a look at the survey of only 3 questions – If you really want to, you can take the survey at the Ryan Air website.

To be fair, I’ve thought a bit laterally and come up with some potential advantages of the ‘Standing Up On A Plane’ theory to help Ryan Air with their marketing of this unique idea.

So here they are: The Top 10 Potential Benefits of Standing Up On A Plane:

1. The risk of Deep Vein Thrombosis is virtually eliminated.
2. You can do a great Hannibal Lector impression if you wear your gimp mask on board.  Double points for saying ‘I would like some liver washed down with an Italian chianti’.
3. You can stretch out your arms horizontally and yell out ‘I am the Messiah!’  This would be even more effective if you have a beard.
4. If the plane does actually crash, you won’t ever have to move into the brace position.
5. The chance of spilling your dodgy airplane food on your lap has been significantly reduced.
6. There’s no way that the annoying kid behind you will ever kick you in the back again.
7. You can gain an appreciation of how it feels to be ‘secured’ in a mental asylum.
8. You might get some great ideas for the bedroom from being strapped into your ‘seat’.
9. If the plane does crash, you could watch the Domino Effect of people toppling over the next person. And finally:
10. If the plane is hijacked, the hijackers can’t say ‘Stay In Your Seat!’.

How about you?  Would you rather stand up on a plane if this meant your Ryan Air flight was free or 50% off?

Leave a comment and share your views!

I guess these stunts from Ryanair have made the airline successful.  You can read more about the Ryanair story at Ryanair: The Full Story of the Controversial Low-Cost Airline.

Once you’ve finished your Standing Up flight, you can try my 52 Offbeat Travel Tips, or 52 Travel Tips for Weird Food and Drinks.

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