Fish River Canyon, Namibia – is apparantly, the next biggest canyon in the world after the Grand Canyon.

It’s also called Visriviercanyon.  The Fish River Canyon is about 30 kilometres wide at its widest point, 160 kilometres long and up to 550 metres deep.

The Namibian government proudly claims it’s the next biggest canyon after the Grand Canyon, but that’s irrelevant – I think it’s still an impressive piece of erosion. I’ve included a photo below:

The Fish River Canyon carves a meandering brown gorge through the Namib Desert; however a slight trickle of token water does dribble at the bottom – a real novelty for water-short Namibia.

When I visited, countless eroded corrugated fingers of dirt descend into the canyon whilst the Namibian sun altered the fingers’ hues and shadows every few minutes.

However, I was most impressed by the following advisory sign placed at the entry point for overzealous hikers at the Fish River Canyon.

Based on this useful advisory sign, I assumed the major cause of hiker death in the Fish River Canyon was explosive diarrhoea caused by Escherichia coli poisoning, rather than the more adventurous-sounding broken limbs caused by mauling lions, or even worse, jock rash.

But, you wouldn’t want to spoil this place anyway.  It’s simply amazing.  Check it out if you’re ever around South West Africa.

Just so you don’t leave yourself behind, I’d suggest investing in a map like the National Geographic Adventure Map Fish River Canyon & Richtersveld.

Other things to do in Namibia – have a drink at the Gin and Tonic Bar, smell the second biggest collection of Seal Urine and Poo in the world, and spot the Sand Sign.

These are all fantastic things to do after visiting the Fish River Canyon.

My Pub Of The Year is the Gin and Tonic Bar.

My favourite Pubs used to be in Ireland. That’s before I came across the Gin and Tonic Bar.

This bar is a concrete box plus an irregularly arranged corrugated iron flat roof, located in a small village in Rundu, in northeast Namibia – near the border with Angola. The front walls proudly displayed the words ‘WeLLcom GiN and TONiC BAR’ in orange hand writing.

It still amazes me that a Pub (or in this case, a drankwinkel) is a feature of every town in the world, no matter how poor or squalid it is.  This place would definitely win Pub Of The Year in Rundu – because it’s the only pub there.

The GiN and TONiC BAR had no electricity supply, and inside, was a mud-walled establishment complete with dirt floor. A neat line of standard spirits such as vodka and bourbon occupied the shabby bar. Two bartenders stood behind the bar, waiting for any potential customer to pop-in for a quick brewski.

I had to satisfy my militant curiosity and wondered if they served beer.  Surely, the Pub Of The Year would have this?

‘Hello there – I was wondering, do you have any beer?’ I casually asked the laid-back bartender.

He pointed me into the direction of the 60 litre plastic rubbish bin located in a dusty corner. The bin contained a whitish, cloudy homebrew, and this liquid looked rougher than anything I’d ever tried at university, even the green home brew that beer desperados like myself wouldn’t dare to touch. This beer looked more at home on a three-week, incubated agar plate than in a beer glass.

Hmm, this is a laboratory, not the Pub Of The Year.

It was called mahango or millet beer, which is usually brewed and drunk on the same day (this must have been really green home brew). A plastic ladle lay still within the beer and its handle was barely holding on to the bin lip.

I had complete faith in my guts’ ability to handle almost any dodgy foodstuff or beverage, as four years of on-campus college food that required carbon-dating had evolved my battered stomach into a super-digestive monster, able to withstand almost anything that was shoved down my gullet.

I poured the cloudy mixture in a plastic cup, took a sip, and then swallowed the rest. After analysing the initial layer of beer on my tongue, finishing with the grainy after-taste, I concluded that this suspicious looking home brew actually tasted not too bad, considering the less than ideal brewing conditions. I also deduced there was obviously enough alcohol in the beer to kill any feral Namibian bug, thus preventing me from becoming sick with explosive diarrhoea or vomiting.

The bartenders looked at me in appreciation that their brew was acceptable as I walked out. I had to acknowledge their fine improvisation in the beer making process. I accepted that human beings have an undocumented survival instinct that orders us to produce substances that cause us to become drunk no matter what dire circumstances are present.

Oh, I didn’t become sick either!

Cheers!

Make sure you have a drink at my Pub Of The Year!

This was a guest blogger post on Things You Should Do. Thanks to Julie Gallaher for this opportunity.

Cape Cross Namibia Seals

The photo above was taken at Cape Cross, in Namibia.

No, it’s not a rocky beach – those dark lumps are thousands of seals!  Cape Cross is home to 100,000 seals, and consequently, judging by the putrid smell I ingested, must be one of the largest collections of seal poo and urine in the world.

The Portuguese explorer, Diego Cão was the first European to land here in 1486 and he erected a cross in honour of the King of Portugal.

In grand colonial fashion, the message left behind by Diego arrogantly stated ‘In the year 6685 after the creation of the world and 1485 after the birth of Christ, the brilliant far-sighted King John II of Portugal ordered Diego Cão, knight of his court, to discover this land and to erect this padrão here’.

I pondered that maybe the cross was erected as a monument to the countless senses of smell lost by Portuguese seamen, rueing that the much sought after peri-peri chicken aroma would never grace their nostrils again.

Cape Cross Toilet With Seals

Sure, it’s a bit smelly, but nonetheless Cape Cross it’s a remarkable collection of Great White Shark bait.

Namibia is a great place to visit, check out more in this book.

Here is a Road Sign that is unbelievable but true!

The ‘Sand’ sign is obviously most stating the obvious, based on it’s location – in the middle of the desert.

You’ll find heaps of these Road Signs along the almost deserted highways of Namibia, in south western Africa.

Can you spot the Sand near the Road Sign?

You can check out more funny signs at Signspotting One, Two an Three!